#badassbitchfromhell

It’s been two days since an entitled fucktard thought he had the right to sexually assault me. Yes. Sexually assault. He may have only tried and partially succeeded to kiss me, but fuck that shit, it’s still sexual assault. I did not consent to it, nor did I want it to happen.

It came to my attention that something similar had recently happened to Kate Nash, the badass woman who happens to write, play and sing pretty fucking awesome songs, in her own home. A stranger cornered her and proceeded to grope her. I cannot imagine how it feels to have a violation like this happen in your own home but millions of women have had this exact experience, and worse.

Whilst I’m on the scale of bad to worse here, all actions that are not consented to by one or either party are assault – physical, sexual or otherwise, and each action can have just as much of an impact as any other, regardless of their “severity”. It’s taken me by surprise that I have felt as much anxiety and sadness and fear as I have because of this. Explaining the situation to my uni friends today of why I have been a bit off and distracted made my heart rate increase, made me feel like I could cry at any moment and made me doubt that my experience was serious enough to warrant my reaction, or that others would think it trivial and brush it off. (They didn’t, which is why my friends are fucking awesome.)

But the most depressing and infuriating thing about this process is that I have spoken out and in doing so have had several female friends talk about their experiences. When a guy groped them, or kissed them, or rubbed against them when they did not want it to happen. And despite all of them being strong, badass bitches from hell, they have also not reported it or felt like they could fight back in the same way I was able to. As women, we have seemingly gotten into the habit of minimising our experiences due to the fact that for so long we have not been listened to, not been told we can fight these men, not been shown by our legal system that our complaints will be taken seriously (just look at the conviction numbers for rape and assault against women and you’ll be laughing).

Kate Nash has done exactly what I did. SPEAK. We have become part of a small minority of women who actually does. My job, as a woman, as a victim, as a survivor, as a badass bitch from hell, is to speak. To share. To empower. To help. To do something that educates the next generation. Not just of boys and men, but of girls and women. I have no idea where to start but this is my fight. This is your fight. THIS IS OUR FIGHT.

Ladylove,
Jaqueline xxx

Title: Kate Nash quote, innit? And my image to other attackers and to show that I’m not your “stereotypical” victim.

Also, if anyone has experienced sexual assault or sexual harassment, there are so many great resources to go to for support, advice and campaigns for specific public services like the Tube or local areas. Please see below for information.

United Nations – What Is Sexual Harassment?

Citizens Advice – Sexual Harassment

Citizens Advice – Sexual Assault and Rape

London, UK: To report sexual harrassment on public transport, text 61016 and give details of what, where and when.

Walthamstow, London, UK –

Rape Crisis

Victim Support – Rape & Sexual Assault

Mine

 

Ladylove,
Jaqueline xxx

I Can Give You What You Want

I can make your heart beat short. I can make you ice cream. We could be a sweet team. Melting in your vice dreams, sport.

Okay, okay, okay. New Young Pony Club were able to say what I wanted to in a more succinct and, well, better way. Basically at the moment I have a crush developing on this (pretty hot) girl I’m messaging on the regular but haven’t yet met in person. Oh yeah, HIYA INTERNET/TECHNOLOGY BASED DATING. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! It’s been a while since I’ve had any “fun” but I’m also not in a position, or any position for that matter (her on top, cowgirl style thanks), to bring someone back to mine. I live in my sister’s living room right now. Just no.

But seriously (seriously), it got me realising that I’m properly over my ex. There were a few things said when it ended – aka. I was dumped – that really stuck with me for a while that hurt and were a bit unfair to comment on (and made me realise I’m seriously better off without her in my life). It made me re-evaluate my life and ultimately made me make decisions about what I wanted from my life and where I would like it to go. I know we can’t say what’s going to happen tomorrow or in a month or in 5 years from now, deep and meaningful wise, but having a proper direction has really made me into the person I am today and helped me grow up and understand that only I can change and make any decisions about my life.

Now it’s up to me to find that hot lady woman that is #SoVelcro (read about this here) and learn that taking chances pay off. If you don’t go in for the kiss 100% of the time, you don’t get the kiss 100% of the time (thanks Sarah Croce for that nugget of awesome and for the legions more blog views, you’re an actual amazing lezzerbean. Now get to work on the single ladies please.). Maybe I should set up a kissing booth dating service just for me…

But yeah, come at me all you hot looking lady women who like lady women because I can give you what you want. And if I can’t give it to you, hook a sister up and introduce me to that really hot friend of yours, yeah?

Ladylove,
Jaqueline xxx

PS. New exciting things are a coming. Oh yes they are. And hello to anyone who was brought here by Croce sharing my post. Come back again whenever you like!!!

Head Over Heels

Yesterday I found Calling In Drunk. I watched the entire first season in about an hour. Then I showed my friend Paul. And we both lamented that we’d never had the idea ourselves. Seriously, I’m making everyone I know watch it if they haven’t already. The entirety of the season does just look like a normal 4-6 hour weekend evening night out to me though. Especially the final two episodes. It’s all so familiar. (I would have had a mop bucket on standby at that point, FYI).

Thing is right, I’ve only recently become a youtube video watcher and have thus far only subscribed (surprise surprise) to channels that have a lesbian involved. And not in the down dirty sexy way – that’s called porn and there are dedicated websites for that shit. I do have a lot of respect for vloggers, as even though I have a picture up of me on here and divulge certain things about my life and loves I am relatively hidden away from my audience. Saying that, I’ve been thinking about doing a vlog at some point – about what I don’t know. It’ll probably be me dancing along to Robyn/NSync/Kate Bush/doing the Running Man because I got bored and couldn’t think of anything else to do. And you’ll get to hear how annoying my voice sounds when it’s recorded as well. It goes up an octave at least.

In the meantime, enjoy Calling In Drunk, and watch Hart’s channel as well (if you’ve not seen the watermelon video yet, just go).

Ladylove,
Jaqueline xxx

All Eyes on Us

Two for Tunesday. IT’S BAAAAACK.

Yup, it’s time for me to unashamedly share two of my favourite songs of the moment. I really am a bit in love with these songs at the moment. Considering there is a hell of a lot of music I’m currently saying I have on repeat, I added these two songs into the mix a while ago.

Numero Uno: RoxXxan – Power

RoxXxan is an artist I’ve got a bit of personal interest in at the moment, being from Birmingham. It always makes me a bit happy seeing someone from Birmingham do well in the world and, to be honest, leaving the place. As much as I love it – my parents still live there, as do a lot of awesome friends – I don’t think I could ever live there again. London provides so much more opportunity for all the different creatives there are in life, and to see a female MC such as RoxXxan starting to get some recognition for the hard graft she’s obviously put in, is awesome. To top it off, her girlfriend is Karis from Stooshe, so big up the ladylove!! *fist bump*

Numero Dos: Tanya Lacey – Must Be The Shoes

To link these two artists together, I have RoxXxan to thank for introducing me to Tanya Lacey. When I was searching on iTunes for all the RoxXxan songs I could find, I came across ‘Good Man’. One thing I need from music I like to listen to more than once, is the ability to a) sing and dance along to it, and b) the ability to come up for a music video for it in my head if it doesn’t have one already. This song ticks both boxes (my music video involves Ms Lacey as a superhero, rescuing women from bad shoes. Y’know, the important things in life that need to be dealt with). But anyway, I ended up downloading her ‘Head Chef’ LP and although only 8 songs long, my review of it is that it is an absolute banger. Filled with a bit of pop, a bit of soul, a bit of skank and a bit of R’n’B, ‘Head Chef’ is an instant feast for your ears (yeah, I went there).

So yeah, seriously, go take a listen to them. If you like my blog, all 3 of you that probably read it, you’ll most likely be open to the music I recommend or might even like it!

Ladylove,
Jaqueline xx