It’s been two days since an entitled fucktard thought he had the right to sexually assault me. Yes. Sexually assault. He may have only tried and partially succeeded to kiss me, but fuck that shit, it’s still sexual assault. I did not consent to it, nor did I want it to happen.
It came to my attention that something similar had recently happened to Kate Nash, the badass woman who happens to write, play and sing pretty fucking awesome songs, in her own home. A stranger cornered her and proceeded to grope her. I cannot imagine how it feels to have a violation like this happen in your own home but millions of women have had this exact experience, and worse.
Whilst I’m on the scale of bad to worse here, all actions that are not consented to by one or either party are assault – physical, sexual or otherwise, and each action can have just as much of an impact as any other, regardless of their “severity”. It’s taken me by surprise that I have felt as much anxiety and sadness and fear as I have because of this. Explaining the situation to my uni friends today of why I have been a bit off and distracted made my heart rate increase, made me feel like I could cry at any moment and made me doubt that my experience was serious enough to warrant my reaction, or that others would think it trivial and brush it off. (They didn’t, which is why my friends are fucking awesome.)
But the most depressing and infuriating thing about this process is that I have spoken out and in doing so have had several female friends talk about their experiences. When a guy groped them, or kissed them, or rubbed against them when they did not want it to happen. And despite all of them being strong, badass bitches from hell, they have also not reported it or felt like they could fight back in the same way I was able to. As women, we have seemingly gotten into the habit of minimising our experiences due to the fact that for so long we have not been listened to, not been told we can fight these men, not been shown by our legal system that our complaints will be taken seriously (just look at the conviction numbers for rape and assault against women and you’ll be laughing).
Kate Nash has done exactly what I did. SPEAK. We have become part of a small minority of women who actually does. My job, as a woman, as a victim, as a survivor, as a badass bitch from hell, is to speak. To share. To empower. To help. To do something that educates the next generation. Not just of boys and men, but of girls and women. I have no idea where to start but this is my fight. This is your fight. THIS IS OUR FIGHT.
Title: Kate Nash quote, innit? And my image to other attackers and to show that I’m not your “stereotypical” victim.
Also, if anyone has experienced sexual assault or sexual harassment, there are so many great resources to go to for support, advice and campaigns for specific public services like the Tube or local areas. Please see below for information.
United Nations – What Is Sexual Harassment?
Citizens Advice – Sexual Harassment
Citizens Advice – Sexual Assault and Rape
London, UK: To report sexual harrassment on public transport, text 61016 and give details of what, where and when.
Walthamstow, London, UK –
Victim Support – Rape & Sexual Assault